Saturday, 27 August 2011


Off to Malta this evening and still not entirely packed!  I'm always the last minute packer...anyways thought I'd update you as promised to the fact I'm still at 106lbs...eugh.  I did get down to 105 but last night was a big night out which involved a lot of sitting down drinking and snacking so back to 106, blurgh.  At least the temperature in Malta this week is a sweet 30 degrees everyday so bring on the loss of appetite...and the fact that the Italian bread and pasta influence will mean I only have to eat salads and fish :) Only problem is that I can't take my whey protein with me, purely because I'm afraid customs will stop me with a funny powder in my bags, I'm a whimp but I'd prefer to not have the hassle.  I've already arranged for my mum to take me protein shopping tomorrow as I've packed all my workout essentials for early morning runs at least 3 times a week! 

Okay my lovelies ciao for now and hoepfully I'll get a chance to update at least once whilst I'm out there :)

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Losing and other ramblings

So I'm now down to 106lbs! yay!  It hasn't been easy but I'm happy that I'm making progress and not shooting myself in the foot (by binging).  The other factor is that now since I've been put on a wheat-free diet I can just say that I'm wheat intolerant and people don't question why I don't eat!  It truly is brilliant. 

A massive thanks to all you lovely ladies for advising me on what dress to wear :)  I looked fabulous thanks to you guys!  The wedding went amazingly, I think the speeches were the best part I was in absolute stitches :)  I caught up with a childhood friend who I hadn't seen in 4 years and he really hasn't changed one bit apart from the fact he's bulked out a bit more.  The food was amazing, we had a monkfish 'amuse-bush' (that word makes me think of the 70's for some reason) then some rabbit which was deep fried in breadcrumbs so thankfully I could use my wheat excuse there, then we had a gorgeously rare steak (I love it still bleeding) which I couldn't finish because I can't handle that much meat in one go and for dessert there was tiramisu but obviously that has biscuit layers so another hi-five for the wheat intolerance...the waiters said they would bring me a fruit salad instead and basically it was chopped up fruit on a plate which was fine with me :)  I think my childhood friend had a field day with my leftovers, he hoovered them up ecstactically. 

I can't describe how much I've missed him, we used to be like brother and sister and it's so good to get that back again since my own actual brother (although I love him) is a total numpty, I honestly think he's 'challenged' in some way - for example he made creme brulee but on doubling the ingredients he didn't double the sugar so thought it would be a brilliant idea to put bitter cocoa poweder on I pointed out that cocoa poweder would actually make it taste less sweet and he decided to solve the problem by ingeniously trying to hoover the cocoa powder off the tops of the creme brulee and in the process took half the creme brulee with it...oh my gosh I literally was in hysterics - I mean who thinks it's a brilliant idea to hoover up a creme brulee in order to get cocoa powder off the top???!!!  My dad threw a fit and made him scrub out the hoover, I just thought it was hilarious but it also makes me think that there really isn't any hope for him.  I'd like to point out also that he is my older brother and will be turning 27 this year so these aren't the mistakes of a teenage boy.

Love to you all and sorry for not blogging more frequently, my bf has been breathing down my neck and I'm working full-time at the moment so I don't have the chance to have alone time on the computer.  I'm off to Malta from next weekend as well for a 2 week holiday with the family so I may not get a chance to blog whilst I'm out there.  So this is basically an apology  in advance :)  I will update my weight before I leave and then hopefully I won't gain whilst I'm out there and I'll check in and natter on when I get back. 
Stay strong everyone

Saturday, 13 August 2011


Wow, thank you for the fabulous responses!  I really appreciate all your opinions and I have decided to go with the majority and opt for Dress number 2!  Woohoo! I'm going to look hot thanks to you guys :) 

So second news of the day is that I'm finally down to 108!  Well 108.4lbs to be precise but I'm happy nonetheless :)  Once I reach 106lbs I've promised myself a shopping spree which might be difficult as I'm flat broke and trying to save money for my holiday to Canada in December...well I'll see if the sales are still on otherwise I might set foot in Primark for the 1st time in my life or might try and find some bargains at Spitalfields (clothes market in East London).  I have nothing against Primark but as a teenager I became aware that most people wore it and living in a small city the shopping options were limited which meant at least once a week you were likely to bump into someone wearing the same item of clothing, therefore since Primark was so popular I just stayed away from it, much like I do with Topshop nowadays but that has the ridiculous mark up in prices to add to it.  At least Primark know that price matches quality whereas Topshop loves to increase its prices whilst declining in quality, a lot of my H&M tops have lasted a lot longer than my Topshop ones. 

Anyway I was all set up to go to the gym and then my boyfriend announces he wants me to go to a football match with him today because his friend has pulled out and he doesn't want to go alone.  If I go it means I won't have time to both go to the gym AND straighten my hair before my friends come round for pre-drinks so since I have realised that my relationship means more to me than the gym I am dutifully now cleaning the flat, straightening my hair and then going to the football match instead.  Unfortunately it's forecasted to be drizzle all this afternoon which is the worst weather for my hair...great... I hope he appreciates this! Especially as I won't be able to go to the gym tomorrow on a hangover and I'm working full-time from Monday so it's going to be hard to drag my bum out of bed to go before work - I can't go after work because by that time I'm about to collapse from hunger and as a receptionist it's hard to eat something at your desk also if I go after work I won't get home until about 9pm and I don't eat anything past 8pm as a rule.  Argh.  Oh well love rules all! 

Speak to you lovelies soon

Friday, 12 August 2011

Decisions, Decisions...?!

Hey ladies, I would really appreciate it if you could help me choose what dress to wear to this wedding next Saturday.  It's really between two different dresses as the third one is just to mix it up a bit.  It will be a late afternoon heading into evening wedding which is nicer for me in that I don't have to dress too tea-party(ish).  So bearing that in mind here is:

Dress number 1:  from Oasis, already worn twice to other weddings (but still loved)

Unfortunately I don't have a cleavage for this one anymore (it's a size UK10 and I bought it when I was 15lbs heavier) but because of the style I can tie the bow at the back and tighten the adjustable straps to make it look smaller :)

Dress number 2: by Catherine Malandrino, more of evening dress but I love the style and can be softened with a boyfriend blazer and fascinator

Apart from my knees looking super chunky, the picture doesn't do the dress enough justice.  I thought it was appropriate as it's not too short and there's no flashing of cleavage either, after all the bride is meant to shine :)

Dress number 3: from NW3, very summer tea party dress but I haven't worn it yet so I thought I'd pop it in anyway :)

Sorry for the bad quality.  This one is flowery and is silk so I thought it was more appropriate for a summer wedding, however the wedding starts at 4pm so I don't know if I'd feel a bit dressed down later on when on the dancefloor.

So there you go ladies, please let me know what you think as I want to buy a fascinator over the weekend to go with the favoured dress :)

Thank you for your help!!!

Spicing Up Whey Protein

Hey ladies,

I want to say thanks to all of you for your comments on my last post, I'm glad everyone was angry like me!  All is quiet now it seems which is good.

I just wanted to drop in and say that since upping my whey protein shakes to replace breakfast and lunch I have found that adding cinnamon makes it taste waaaay more appetising!  I chose the vanilla flavour in the first place as chocolate and strawberry remind me of those flavoured milk cartons you got in Primary School...yuck!  I was always a plain milk girl :)  So if anyone has the vanilla flavoured shakes you should try adding some cinnamon, not only is it tasty but cinnamon actually increases your metabolism as well so it's a win win situation. 

I'm back up to 110.2lbs which sucks but I know it's from the hangover binge I had on Sunday which then creeped over into Monday.  Oops...oh well I'm hoping to be back down to 109lbs tomorrow as all I'm eating today are protein shakes and egg whites plus I've had a 517cal blitz at the gym this morning so that should shock my body a bit.  I've got that beach rave tomorrow night so if I'm not down to the 109lb region I may cry off(especially as it'll be full of tiny tiny oriental girls)...I also have a wedding next Saturday which is being held by some extremely rich friends of the family so as sad as it seems I want to look (pardon the term) 'smoking' in order to be able to flirt with some hot rich chappies.  How shallow right?  Well to be frank I'd flirt with any guy if he was good looking enough purely because I'm a conceited attention-seeking girl, my boyfriend hasn't really been paying attention to me and he actively told me the other day that he couldn't wait for me to start studying again so that he could spend his evenings playing PS3 I feel really appreciated... I sound ridiculous but my self-esteem is probably not the highest anyway and for my love of 3 years to say that makes me feel pretty small.  I told him I didn't like it but he shrugged it off and I didn't make a big deal out of it.  I do know he loves me but that's only because of speaking to friends of ours, I wish he'd express it to me sometimes :(

Oh well enough melancholy self-pitying, I hope you girlies are fighting the fight. 
Love to you all

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

London Riots

Well exciting stuff, riots all over the shop!

Basically uneducated kids who are 3rd generation benefit claimers, left school at 12 and can't understand why the world hasn't been handed to them on a plate because they've had no one to give them a leading example.  Makes my blood boil because they are actually thick as pig shit.  They basically can't be arsed to work their way out of poverty and resent those who do.  We have a more than generous benefits system, healthcare system and education system and they complain that they don't have a fucking Lambourgini to drive around.  I actually would love it if a penal colony was set up in East Africa and they were shipped out to fend for themselves in the famine, see how they like it when they have real problems. 

My area doesn't seem to be too bad, our nearest Tesco store has been looted and now I have to pay double the price for everything at the smaller Sainsbury's...I'm a student so I can't exactly afford it! I've joined the Riot Clean Up, best thing I can do besides training to be a sniper and picking off the idiots one by one.

Sorry for the angry rant but I have no sympathy for stupid people who could have had a chance at intelligence if only they'd actually taken advantage of everything they have been given for free!  I managed fine at state school, 2 very rough ones in fact, I just put my head down and studied and I never took it for granted. 

Anyway rant over I need to get back to work, I'll update later ladies.

Friday, 5 August 2011


Just a quick post to shout out my joy!  I'm now down to 109.2lbs, and I hope to continue losing at about 2lbs a week until I reach my target weight.  I am commited and I'm even sacrificing a beer festival tonight in order to keep on track! 

The reason for the title is due to the fact that I bought 2 pairs of designer jeans off of ebay 6 months ago which I couldn't even get past my thighs, at 114lbs I still couldn't get the button done up.  However today (even though I was scared of depressing myself) I managed to do the buttons up and still be able to breathe! woohoo!  There's no muffin top mainly due to my gym sessions but I can still see a little bulge, so after I reach 106lbs I will try them on again and see the difference :) 

Love you all!

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Half a Stone

Well my ladies I thought I'd do a quick post about the fact I have officially lost a total of 7lbs or as we measure it here in the UK half a stone!  This is from middle of May although I didn't start the blog until end of May.  I know I'm not back down to 109lbs but I think I need to encourage myself in some way especially as I was able to achieve a 0.2lb loss form last week after a horrible binging weekend. 

I am now religiously using My Fitness Pal as a way to count everything that goes into my mouth and the amount of exercise I do.  Due to my natural laziness gene I find it really useful in that it has a lot more foodstuffs on its database and it will work out fractions for you so you don't have to work out a quarter of 334cals (for example).  It recommends 1,200cals a day minimum but that's because it has to and I love the way I can track my protein, fat, carb, fibre and sodium intake.  At the end of the day when you finalise everything it roughly tells you how much you would weigh in 5 weeks if everyday was like that one.  I also am a lot more careful as when I was hand-writing calories I tended to miscalculate or not include small things like fruit, etc. But with this I can visibly see the mountain of food I am actually eating. 

I am giving blood next week so I started taking my iron supplements over the weekend, it has resulted in my use of Benefibre from yesterday but with no real result.  I hate taking iron supplements but it seems to be the only way to get my HB level up to 12.5 which is the minimum for giving blood - even though the normal range for women is between 11.4-15(point something).  I'm usually around 11.8 naturally so hopefully my spinach-scoffing and iron tablet-taking will be enough.  So I just have to suffer a week of constipation.  I am actually considering colonic irrigation (it's been on Groupon) just to see how much I lose, I bet it would be about 2lbs!  However I think I'm probably too much of a prude and wouldn't let anyone near my bum.  lol.

Anyway enough about rotten guts!  I'm off to enjoy/endure the 30degree cloudy weather today in London...mainly by going to the gym and then to work, hopefully the predicted monsoon weather will wait until tomorrow.  Britain can't deal with heat, we have about 3 days of mid-late twenties heat and then it chucks it down and cools right back down to below 20 degrees! Meh, I'm looking forward to September and a free holiday to Malta to see my parents :)  (although the rains usually start in Malta in September...but at least it will be guaranteed warm weather everyday). 
Love to you all

Monday, 1 August 2011

Weekend Madness

Ahh total binge weekend.  Even though I felt bloated and ridiculously whale-like due to my period being due (and yet it still hasn't come on...what is that all about?!) I managed to scoff down lots of chicken and even half a chinese over the weekend.  Meh.  Obviously I thought 5 days out of 7 at the gym was surely enough but because I was so restless and managed to do an entire spring clean and be left with nothing else to do I ended up stuffing my face...boredom I hate it!  I would have done thinspiration for hours but my bf insisted on spending hours on end cuddling on the sofa, which I love when I'm tired in the evening but during warm, sunny days it just makes me itch - especially as I have a new found love of working out.  Also he then decides to put on football highlights from last season to gear him up for the new season...I'm pretty sure he has noticed I am not the biggest football fan, so this made me even more frustrated and I just kept snacking - one ryvita here, another there.  Luckily most of my binging was done on ryvita, turkey slices and fruit but yesterday my bf wanted a roast so instead of the one roast potato I was going to eat it ended up being 5 by the end of the day.  Argh this thing is making me resent my own bf for being so lazy!  After a hard week at work he likes to chill out which I understand but can he not do it outside?  I have started to get cabin fever from being cooped up here all weekend and now I can't go out until my laxatives have worked through.  I took a very high dose at about 8pm last night and it still hasn't worked its way through because I ate so bloody much, so now I can't go to the gym until it's all out because I don't like the feeling when you're half way through your run and you have to run to the changing rooms, you can't even wipe down your machine.  Plus I'm holed up in the bedroom because the window cleaners are out today and we have a living room which consists of 1/2 floor to ceiling glass - I can't exactly be looking at thinspo with them peering through can I?  They have to do the whole building so I imagine they won't be gone for at least another 3 hours, eugh. 

I'm also angry because if I hadn't eaten so much I wouldn't have taken a double dose of laxatives which means I wouldn't have to stay here until they pass through and I wouldn't have to go to the gym in 27 degree heat this afternoon.  My gym is a poor student gym so the air con only seems to reach you about half of the time.  Blurgh I feel bloated and miserable,  mix time of the month with a weekend of over-eating and a handful of laxatives...not enjoyable.  I am actually feeling suffocated by my bf, it's not good.  The only good thing is that he finally resigned on Saturday that I need to buy my own half of the food shop as I now can't eat anything with wheat in and I do choose all the zero fat, low calorie things which he hates - he's a full fat coke kind of man.  Unfortunately when he suggested sausages, I happily pointed out that the three packets in a row I had examined all contained wheat flour, unfortunately he picked up the next one and happily exclaimed that that packet didn't so I now have to dodge Bangers and Mash night somehow...the only way I can see out is too cook it all before he gets home and pretend I've already eaten because I was too hungry to wait, which I think he could believe as I'm prone to sugar crashes and carry emergency sweets with me anyway.

I haven't bothered weighing myself this morning, I think it would make me consider jumping off the balcony or - as I used to do as a very unhappy teenager - punch myself in the stomach in disgust (yes I used to do that, not proud but hey I can't hide the fact I have a disorederd past).   I might weigh myself after the laxatives have worked but we'll see, I'm not eating anything until I do go but my mouth is starting to dry up so I should really drink some just feels like every millilitre counts towards being an enormous fat pig. 

Sorry for the negativity, I hate disappointing myself and failing - I'm not used to failing in a lot of other areas in my life and so it makes me a bit mad when I fail at this.  Hope everyone is well and I hope I haven't brought anybody else down, I promise to be more positive after I get my head screwed back on straight.