Monday, 20 June 2011
No regrets...well maybe...
Hey lovely ladies,
Well my restlessness and over-enthusiastic approach to exercise has led me to be practically crippled. Honestly my calves have completely seized up! I was like an old granny yesterday when I went to pick my parents' car up. I woke up this morning raring to get back into a regime and I'm still hobbling around. I probably stretched about 15 times yesterday and already twice today but to no avail. On Saturday I went for a 40 min jog (exhausting) and then carried on to repeat my 260 jumping jacks,etc and I think my body pretty much told me to F*** off...
Now that I can't do exercise (except upper body stuff) I can feel my mind turning to old habits and I'm doing a liquid only diet until I leave tomorrow evening. I'll have to eat tomorrow evening because I'm the sole driver for going to Glasto and we're all meeting at mine for dinner, so I can't avoid that one...plus I don't want to fall asleep whilst driving down pokey country lanes.
I wanted to mention something that Bones mentioned about stopping the cycle of binging. I know that binging was far more than being afraid of digesting all those calories that you just consumed, I remember using it to get rid of all my anxieties and anger as a kind of release. Up until last year I was purging purely as an emotional release. When I had an argument with my boyfriend I would immediately go to the toilet and purge, like a punishment to myself but also as a retaliation to him and I would say to myself "look what you made me do"...my boyfriend never knew and still doesn't know I did this and I don't plan on telling him as, well I'm sure you can sympathise why I wouldn't tell him. I'm hoping this liquid diet won't trigger me back into old ways but I'm off to Glasto from tomorrow night and believe me you would NOT want to purge into those toilets...ewwww!
This is probably my last post until next Tuesday now when I'll be having my next weigh-in so big hugs and love to all. Stay strong :)